Creativity gone south

That’s it! I am done, I don’t need all these in this complicated life of mine. I have decided and I would not change my mind, I will not be wavered by anything or anyone, I will have to deal with things on my own terms. The sole cause of this entire ruckus is the so-called motivation I decided to sort. 

This is how it happened, the other day, I was little bored… (ok,I was a lot bored)… you know, being idle is usually not very appealing to me especially when I am actually idle and to make matters worse the creative portion of me had gone on a vacation…(more about that later), so I was practically at my wits end. Nothing to watch, nothing to do, I didn’t feel like reading anything, I felt like life was slowly suffocating me.
The combination of boredom and lack of creativity pushed me to take a step which I would later regret. I decided to sort for motivation and the first place that came to mind was the internet, and because I wanted fresh and constant supply of motivation, I turned to instagram making sure I followed all the “motivational” accounts. The first two to three days was all fine, I was gaining some motivation I even got a new millionaire crush… (*wink*,*wink*), but I didn’t stalk.
Things were going smoothly until about five days post my following motivational instagram accounts; everything began to turn upside down. Apparently, I was receiving all these motivation forgetting that my creativity had gone on vacation, I tried everything…I tried conjuring it by making an hand-drawn design but it didn’t show up, I tried mailing a return ticket for it to come back only to have my return ticket returned back to me, I begged and pleaded  but it seems that my creativity is better at being a cold hearted bi***h than I would ever be, then I resorted to the violent act of dragging it by the hair…let’s just say that I have come to realize that whatever I do, my creativity is better at it.
With all these failed attempts at getting my creativity back, I watched as my boredom slowly dissipated and turned into anger and depression, I was angry at the motivational instagram accounts that flaunt all their motivations, creativity and the successes they had had from their creativity; and I got depressed because there was nothing I could about my lack of creativity than to wait for it to come back to me while I watch others creatively succeed.
….i still have not recovered, thanks for asking…