Faking Strong

She sat up after a series of twist and turns she had made on the bed, bowing her head, she resist the urge to let out the loud scream that keeps building up in her in leaps and bound.
At the spur of the moment she leaps to her feet and starts pacing in the small dark room, 2:43am she noted as she took a quick glance at her phone. she continues pacing with only these questions on her mind: "what do i do now?", "where should i start from?","how do i go about it?".
While pondering, an unusual thought came to mind which she dismissed immediately,
it was an unusual thought because she is not the type to let her weakness show by going to look for help.Not that she had nobody to go to, to be more accurate they were more than enough but she was more often ignored, but there was nobody there to see her through life, nobody was there when she was slipping down the tunnel of depression, nobody was there during her saddest and happiest moments. She had always felt that for her to survive she had to be strong and independent of her own emotions; that tears were just unproductive and time wasting, instead she choose take the pain and recycle it into anger and that drives productivity.
This had made her seem the strongest and emotionally stable one in the family who everyone drew close to to spew their thoughts, secrets, worries and problems. One by one they come, making her chunk down loads and loads of all they had to spew but no one asked her with all sincerity,"How are you?", no one could see the tall wall she had built up around herself, no one took the time to try to break through that wall, all they did was to throw their own waste over the wall.
Things had been somewhat looking fine but this time around it seems faking strong would not be enough; Kate let out a loud sigh as she resumes pacing, she bumps her toe at the foot of the bed, she waited a few seconds then sat down on floor clutching her chest and letting the tears flow as long as they can.