CIMDHOG

I hate Christmas…well may be not, but my feelings for Christmas have gradually moved from the feeling of ecstasy from my young, free and naïve self to a feeling of mutual acknowledgement, that is, I acknowledge it as a holiday, season of joy, season of cheer, blah blah blah, and it acknowledges me as a mortal that just needs a timeout. I had been on this stage and we seemed to have managed our relationship quite well up until recently when my feelings for the “precious” holiday seem to have disintegrated. This time I’m quite sure had gone up the ladder or in this case down the ladder at least by two to three steps because my feeling of acknowledgement have disintegrated to a feeling of pure boredom. While I still see it has a timeout out, I feel Christmas holiday helps to bring out issues that would have normally remained quiet on daily stress. Issues such as: “how the hell did I end up spending all of my savings on nothing?”, upcoming rite of passage to adulthood, being thrown

This is to wish you a wondrous Christmas, and hope you have a splendid day

http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/nothing-is-real

"So,tell us about yourself"...no matter the platform either physically or virtually, this statement causes me some form of anxiety. The cause of the anxiety is not far fetched, it's just that I don't know what to say, not that I am tongue-tied or in awe of my personality, which I wish I was, but the truth is that am usually speechless because there is nothing to talk about. Unlike some other people who have been victorious with their journey of self discovery (these people I imagine to be everyone else except me), I am still struggling in the midst of the journey of self discovery. Many a times when this statement pops up I switch to auto pilot and make something up that I think is close to who I think I am, or who I want to be.

I hope am not the only one on this... I have always had a somewhat shattered mind that often leads to a shattered pattern of thoughts. I goes as bad that sometimes I don't control my thoughts in whatever way, a tiny piece of thought would have grown so huge and occupy a lot of space that I begin to wonder, "how did I get here?" Listening to the preacher in church today and he mentioned that we have to put a bodyguard at the gate of your mind that helps you to screen thoughts that go in or tge ones that need to be stopped and thrown out...he said, "Be your own minister of Interior Affairs". Right there and then I made up my mind to become my own minister of Interior Affairs. It is not an easy task, this I know for sure considering the number of times I had to trace back my footsteps just within 30 mins of my determination, but on God's grace I rest my hope of success. To back this up...Phil 4:8(NKJV)..."Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true,

I'd like to speak for myself that the worst part of the day, the part in which more energy and determination has to be applied, it's also the time where feeling of low self-esteem, self worth and the feeling of how cruel and useless life is, is more felt. The afore mentioned most tasking part of the day is the moment I have to get up from bed.  Contrary to a lot of books that I have read and some movies that I have watched, most of my mornings has nothing to do with leaping out of bed, I rather go with the crawling out of bed with groaning and mumbling and some subtle anger. Somedays, I just lie down open eyed and begin to ruminate on reasons that can give me a glimmer of justice on spending the entire day on bed, but then the all knowing, prim and proper subconscious steps in then rain some insults on me then the only action I could take is to get up and finally start the day. On some days, which are quite rare, I feel grateful for the rain of insult that thrust me i

The human mind is like a very busy mall open 24 hours a day, different thoughts slip in and out some get solved others just get stuck up there in the maze of the human mind and become terrifying when they re-emerge from the maze. The human is so busy that even when other parts of the body go to hibernation during sleep, it continues its works through dreams. Well, with this I'll like to designate the mind as the most important part of the body [yeah the contest is over, every other parts can go home now], one thing I can't imagine is a life without the ability to think, then even ants would be more advanced than the human race. Once in a while I thank God for the brilliant minds that created things like; internet and delicious food, [all other things come after these two], but there are some things that am not really grateful, for instance, every week day I wish I had an access to a time machine so I can go back in time and track down the person who brought up the idea of sc

 That awkward moment when First bank thinks they have made a top notch advert, not realizing that the girl is holding the Xray upside down....ROTFL...LWKMD

I had my first HIV test today and I cannot begin to describe the assortment of feelings I am currently going through. Tension, apprehension, anxiety and fear. while I am currently waiting for the result of my HIV test I begin to ponder; Well, I can say I have not been involved in any risky sexual behaviour but then I get the flashbacks of all the blood samples i had taken from the emergency department. The thought of my recent illnesses, diarrhea, vomiting and the ongoing sore throat just made me more apprehensive. My panic just took it up to an higher grade, Just from the top of my head I can say that my blood pressure would be 130/85mmHg; Pulse Rate of about 120bpm.

First and foremost, Happy New Month. Yes, its the last month of the year which comes with a seasonal joy and happiness. it'll be Christmas soon. Christmas tree, Christmas cake, Christmas dinner with family members you  only get to see once in a year, presents...sounds familiar?, well, not to me. you see my life experience with the Christmas holidat is a little...okay, a lot more and I mean much more different fromthe Christmas I see in movies. This year with a strong sense of determination, I am going to make sure my usual trend of Christmas does not happen. My goal is clear but details are all sketchy. Wish me luck